All is forgiven
04/11/02 | by Mike Shaw

It’s a fickle ol’ world isn’t it? The cover of the Guardian Sport shows David Seaman celebrating Arsenal’s first win in 5 (that looks good written that way don’t it!). The headline reads “At last Seaman can smile again.” Hero to villain or what?! Then there is the case of Diego Forlan. He scored, I must admit, a blinding goal to give United a win over Southampton.

There’s a joke my mate Vince told me about Forlan, it may well have to be adapted now. For the purposes of amusement the joke is as follows…

Alex Ferguson went to the Miss World contest. Ms America came up to him and said “Alex I really admire your tactics and formation, could you sign this for me?” She whips out her left breast and sure enough Fergie signs it. A few moments later Ms France comes up to him and says “Alex I really admire the way you play mind games with your opposing managers, can you sign this for me?” She whips out her right knocker and again Fergie signs it. A couple of minutes later Ms Uruguay approaches the United boss. “Alex,” she says “I really admire the way you nurture your younger players and how they look up to you, please can you sign this?” She lifts up her skirt, drops her thong and hands Sir Alex a pen. Fergie looks flustered, “What’s the matter?” asks Ms Uruguay. “Well” says Sir Alex “Last time I signed a Uruguayan twat it cost me 8 million!!”

Are you laughing son? It's funny!

Still we can always adapt it to fit Juan Veron. However, I take my hat off to Diego Forlan and he wins the inaugural ‘Ian Woan Goal Of The Week Award’. This award will be awarded to the best goal of the week, as the name suggests!

Forlan's goal takes United 3rd after their win, 4 points behind Arsenal and 8 back from Liverpool. They beat Southmapton 2-1, Phil Neville getting United’s goal, Fabrice Fernandes scoring a fine equaliser for Southampton.

Liverpool beat West Ham 2-0 courtesy of 2 Michael Owen goals. After a torrid start to the season he is suddenly hotter than Phoenix in Midsummer. That said his second goal was one of the funniest goals I have seen this season, the ball trickling past Christian Dailly after David James had gone walkies after a ball he was never going to win.

Funny goals brings us nicely onto Steve Marlet’s stunner for Arsenal. Shame he plays for Fulham. He sliced a corner into his own top corner to give the Gunners a 1-0 win at Loftus Road, still being French he must’ve thought he was an Arsenal player. An interesting stat from that game, there were 10 French players involved!

Also on Saturday, again it was a split weekend because of Europe, Birmingham beat Bolton 3-1 in what looks like an early relegation battle. Purse, Savage a beaut and Geoff Horsfield got the Blues goals, Jay-Jay Okocha the lone reply for Bolton. Man City won 2-1 at the Hawthorns over WBA, Anelka and The Goat getting the goals either side of a Neil Clement free-kick.

On Sunday Chelsea continued there amazing run against Spurs. They haven’t lost to them in 13 years in the league. Thanks to Carlo Cudicini in goal they got out of White Hart Lane with a 0-0 draw. He stood on his head in goal to keep the record that last time Spurs beat Chelsea in the league I was 4 years old. Nice bit of context for you there!

Villa drew 0-0 with Blackburn in what was apparently a dour game. Sunderland drew 1-1 with Charlton, they are 2 teams struggling this season, in my opinion at least 1 of them will go down this season. However its Bolton who sit bottom of the league, West Brom above them and Sunderland 3rd fro bottom. Then come West Ham, Charlton and Villa.

Finally another mention to Wayne Rooney. His late wonder goal sunk Leeds at Elland Road, Everton grabbing a 1-0 win. If you haven’t yet seen it its well worth seeing, again. Thank God that kid’s English!

Currently Boro are away to Newcastle, it is 1-0 to Newcastle on the stroke of half time, Shola Ameobi with the goal. Now that’s up to the minute news!

Next week Newcastle travel to Highbury for what should be a good game, Villa entertain Fulham, look for a French…I mean Fulham win there and more pressure to be heaped on Turnip Taylor. Strugglers Bolton and West Brom meet at the Reebok, a draw looks a good bet there. Liverpool take a tough trip to Boro, where again I think the points will be shared, Charlton are at away to Everton, that should be 3 points for the Merseysiders, also Chelsea host Birmingham and Blackburn take a road trip to Southampton. On Sunday Spurs visit Sunderland and Leeds are away to the struggling Hammers.

Oh and there’s the small matter of the Manchester derby, arguably the biggest derby in the Premiership…we watch and await the fireworks.

I leave with my thought for the week, its all well and good scoring a blinding goal, its all well and good taking your shirt off to celebrate your 1st league goal for your club. Just make sure you know how to put it back on again…

TAXI FOR FORLAN!!! (Notice how he ran to the bench for help, do professional footballers REALLY need to be dressed!)