lost that loving feeling - Making a fuss about the Fosse

It comes as little surprise to me that Leicester City tried to rename themselves after a word which describes a small ditch mainly used for drainage (Websters). Quite fitting as well, as Leicester play a brand of 'football' that really is the lowest or the low.

I went on Tuesday and saw our players subjected to constant battering, kicking, elbowing, shoving, pulling and any other form of intimidation you care to think of. They must spend half their time on the training field learning these dirty tricks; every single player executed them all perfectly, as if falling over whenever you get the slightest knock and then harrasing the referee until he not only gives a free-kick but also books the player nearest to you, was the most natural thing in the world.

The whole ethos of the club stinks. Even the ball-boys got in on the act, giving their all when it came to returning Leicester kicks and throws (they even placed the ball for corners), yet whenever a Forest player wanted to take a quick throw, the little gits took as much time as they could and then threw the ball away from our taker. I normally abore football violence, but would be happy to abandon my morals in order to give the runts the good slapping they deserve.

As for the players, don't get me started on what they deserve!

Did you notice that every time Darren Ward wanted to quickly boot the ball up, one of the Leicester forwards (usually that chump Benjamin) would run in his path, elbows extended? Of course, poor old Wardy would run straight into the big lout and do himself a mischief, while Benjamin protested his innocence to the gormless ref.

The Leicester team simply cannot have just picked up these unpleasant traits themselves. If any of Paul Hart's players behaved in the manner of these so-called footballers, they would soon be out of the door with a swift kick up the arse - Tony Vaughan and Jack Lester (to a lesser extent) will testify to that. Micky Adams, on the other hand, must sit them down and give them lessons on how to dive properly, how to influence referees, and how to waste as much time as possible. The football may have been bad under Big Ron, but thank god Adams didn't stay on instead!

Now I realise this probably all sounds bitter. Well that's because I am bitter. I'm bitter because Forest play football the proper way - they pass the ball and use their skill to bring success, rather than using their bulk and their guile. Yet this bunch of cloggers are somehow able to beat us, by means of muscling their way through ninety minutes of lifeless and frustrating football.

To their favour, Leicester were very sound in defence (elbows aside) and gave the Forest frontline a real test. But what makes this all the more infuriating is the fact that Leicester could be a decent side if they put their minds to playing proper football and got out of the mind-set of simply winning by whatever means nessecary - usually a lifeless and unimaginative long-ball approach.

But, they did win, and it was horrible. Aside from getting all the above off my chest, I can cope with this because Leicester's fate is sealed.

Have you been wondering why Leicester have been able to keep hold of nearly all their top players in spite of huge debts, while the likes of Derby, Ipswich and Forest have had to sell numerous stars just to stay in business? While Jug Ears may want to claim the praise for this, it actually amounts to a cynical attempt by the administrators to wipe the club's debts in one fell swoop, before jumping ship and leaving the club to rot.

Before I confuse any more clichés, allow me to predict what will happen to Leicester over the next year or so: the club gets promoted to the Premier League, an acheivement which is worth about £30m ticket sales, TV revenue, sponsorship and prize money. The adminstrators suddenly think, "hey, £30m... sounds familiar! Isn't that the same amount as our debt?" And so the debt is cleared in one go.

With the club finally back on even ground financially, but still unable to spend any more (having spent it all paying off the bank), Micky Adams is unable to improve his squad. They weren't good enough last time, and they won't be good enough this time, especially if they try and pit their brainless version of soccer against the best clubs in the land.

This gives the adminstration the perfect excuse to sell off the club's prize assets as the Fosse slide back into the Nationwide League. They take the profits of these sales, and bid farewell to Leicester, leaving the club relegated, still broke, and with no talent left to speak of. Think Forest of 1998/99 and you're about there.

So Leicester may have won on Tuesday, but the chances are we will be playing them again next season in the Premiership, by which time the balance will have shifted onto the side of good, honest football based on skill and spirit.

Yes, Leicester Ditch sounds very fitting...