I’d written a couple of articles, and it was quite easy – but I must admit I’m finding it a challenge now, but wanted to try to force the momentum. So I’m going for the ‘stream of Forest consciousness’ method of amateur journalism. I’m starting at this point, the day after another lacklustre showing against a half-strength Gillingham side, and I’ll see if I can find myself a thread of anecdotes to weave their way through the thought streams that I’m sure I must share with other fellow trickies. Oh yes, and I’m not going to let myself swear, just to add to the challenge!!

What interests me, is that no matter what evidence to the contrary I see, and no matter how angry or disappointed I am following a Forest performance, by the time the next game comes along I’ll have regenerated a peculiar veneer of optimism which no tangible evidence, fact or even plain common sense can account for. It was like that on 25th. I didn’t go to Rotherham, but I was reliably informed by my spies that the performance wasn’t great, and whilst the Walsall game saw us take three big steps up front, we took about four backward in defence. Had we played like that without the small matter of a new manager taking charge I’m not sure we’d have seen that equaliser.

And so we come to the Gillingham game. I was cautiously optimistic, which is for me a step back. However I was surrounded by fans who were convinced of a win for us – that this will be the turning point. The same turning point they’ve been predicting, unerringly, for about 10-12 games. I always practice damage limitation with other fans – so on forums, or at work, I’ll deliberately play down my feelings of optimism. But as a Norwich fan stood looking over my betting slip which had unfortunately fallen from my coat pocket, it’s laughable to see the bets I placed. Admittedly, I only ever stake £1 on things, so tend to go for outlandish outcomes to get a decent return should I win (I was actually heavily in profit last season, I might add!). But on my betting slip it was laid bare for all to see, my optimism stated like the proverbial lipstick on the collar:

• Forest to win 4-0 (at odds of 40-1)
• Marlon King to score first and Forest to win 1-0 (at odds of 25-1)
• Eoin Jess to score last and Forest to win 2-0 (at odds of 33-1)
• Alan Rogers to score first (at odds of 25-1)
• Andy Impey to score first (at odds of 16-1)

Laughable really on reflection – and the rather smug look on the face of my canary supporting colleague said it all. “I’ve got your number now” it said, “you might SAY you’re not going to do anything all day in the office, but now I know the truth – and I can start to twist the knife a bit more”. Or maybe I’m just paranoid, as all he actually commented on was that he thought we’d have walked it against the Gills. If anything the understanding rival fan is worse than the rampant mickey-taker. It just makes it worse – especially when you know two players who you were cheering on less than a year ago are currently representing them at the top of the table! Oh, what might have been!

So what have I learned? I’m a hopeless optimist? Kind of, but if that is an affliction or illness, then I’ve discovered that Forest are a very effective cure. I never really believed the relegation threat – obviously I’m not stupid enough to deny it’s there, but figured we’d pull out of it. But now I’m not sure we will – we’re not good enough to play with the decent passing sides in the league, and we’re not canny enough to battle with the likes of Gillingham in the bottom. Even whilst this is going on and we’re wasting our game in hand it seems the mutton-molesters have woken up and smelled the coffee and are starting to gather points. We’re now level on games, and two points behind them. And I’m not allowed to swear! Argh!

One thing I am proud of is the Forest support – we weren’t very noisy on Wednesday, but we were there, and we were there in numbers. I know it was only a tenner for those folk who weren’t overcharged for a season ticket, but considering the temperature out there it was some show of commitment nonetheless – and it shows it’s not just me who goes from ardent pessimist after the game to hopeless optimist just before the next one. Although talk on our row in Capital One Corner has turned already to the potential joys of division two next season – don’t get me wrong, it would be a disaster, but well, it could be a laugh as well. Forest haven’t seen lows like these in over half a century, and I guess for that we should be thankful that we’ve been relatively molly-coddled as football supporters. Maybe we can look forward to a phoenix like regeneration like at Manchester City, maybe we could fade to football legend like Sheffield Wednesday (and not a very exciting legend at that), who knows?

All I know really is I’ve been foolish enough to buy a ticket to go down to Milton Keynes on Tuesday, and I must admit that part of this morbid support of Forest has come down to the fact that after all this trial, all this tribulation and all the terrible football I’ve missed, the last thing I want to do is miss us finally win a game! I’m hoping beyond hope we manage to beat the team we last managed to defeat this coming Saturday, but you can’t hedge your bets, so I need to keep the MK Dons option open as well, but if we don’t win these I can’t afford the trip to Gillingham – so the pessimist who is rapidly taking up more of my Forest supporting life would be even now be placing bets on THAT being the game we finally win.

But it’s the day after the game, and tomorrow will be two days, the day after that will be the day of the next game – and by then my pessimism will have faded and a new sheen of optimism will be in place ready to be shattered into tiny fragments again in time for regeneration for Tuesday… but well, if we DO get the win then the power of my optimism will know no bounds! And with that cheering thought I shall bring these mindless musings to a much needed close, if Alex is foolish enough to actually publish this then I’ll just sign off this surprisingly cathartic experience with: YOOOOOU REDS!