Prozac, anyone?
03/02/05 | by John Courtney

I write this from my desk on a grey, dull Wednesday afternoon in Park Royal, West London. And I’m depressed. I am surrounded by Arsenal fans who are upset that they might only come second this year. Poor them, it must be awful. One Gooner is trying to cheer another one by reassuring them that a) they’re still going to play Champions League next year and b) with one eye on me, he perks his mate up by reminding him that he’s not a Forest Fan. Phew. They laugh. I grimace.

And then there are the smug Spurs fans that think it’s funny to throw me conceited looks – one complete cock-head even did an Irish jig in honour of newbie Reidy and knocked a cup of “tea” (although it tastes more of bleach) over my keyboard. Nice. They think that I’m bothered that we’ve sold our only two decent players to them, but I’m not upset about that. There are other reasons why I’m not in a good mood. 

I’m Angry. Really, really angry. Not to mention irritated, frustrated, exceptionally disappointed and for the first time in my life, getting to the point where I simply do not want to support the shambles that has become Nottingham Forest FC any more. This is, of course, an empty threat. I know, deep down, that I cannot abandon them just like I know that I’m stuck with them as my team until the day that I, err, you know, die.

But this is the first time I’ve EVER felt this way - I bought my first ever season ticket aged 15 and that season we were relegated and Cloughie left. Things kind of changed on Waltons mountain after that and since then. Whilst we’ve had some good times, in the main it’s not been that much fun being a Forest fan, although in the past few seasons my support and enthusiasm has never been stronger. I don’t claim to be the greatest fan that has ever walked the face of the Earth, but until recently, I would regularly complete the 250-ish mile round-trip from my home in Bushey, Herts, to the City Ground and back on a Saturday. Not any more. Why should I? Why inflict the misery upon myself? I’m currently grateful that I never got round to buying a season ticket and feel genuine sympathy with those who have. If I did, I think I’d be considering asking for a refund, claiming that I’d lost faith in the product and I’d been sold something under false pretences. Serious about promotion? Oh, how my stomach turns…

But now I’m throwing my toys out of my pram. I’m just fed up with it all. Going back the start of this rant, it’s not the gloating of the Spurs fans that’s really got my goat. I have to hold my hand up and say that when I found out that Spurs were to pay £8million for Dawson and Reidy, I was delighted and excited about the fact that we could buy a whole new team with that kind of money… God knows we need it. The way I see it is that between them, they’re just not enough to keep us out of the shit we’re in, otherwise we wouldn’t be in it. Plus, from afar, Dawson seems to be injured most of the time anyway, so I thought it would be obvious that Forest take the money, reinvest it, let it pay dividends and hopefully get us out of the relegation zone. After the wait and the promises made by the club, I believed that the sexy signings were nigh… 

Sexy? When I had a cheeky surf of the net this morning, you can imagine how eternally flaccid I was to read that the only signing in the pipeline was to be Rotherham’s goalkeeper. I don’t know much about him, but what I do know is that goal is perhaps the one area where we’re okay. What about buying a new striker? Or three? King is, in my opinion, useless. And always has been. Johnno has always been overrated since he half a good season a few years ago – Harewood was the real star – and he’s off anyway. I like Taylor, but where’s he playing? Oh, that’s right: defence. We need about three midfielders to replace just one of Reidy’s legs and the same for Dawson. But no, we’ve put in a bid for a goalkeeper who plays for the one team that is actually worse than us.

Sexy? It’s about as sexy as being fisted by Jo Brand. And I’ve had enough of it. But it’s like my mate said this morning: "Going to Forest is career suicide." So maybe we’re just being realistic. As for the £8 million, it looks like it’s going to pay off the debts. I understand that something needs to be done about them, and I assumed some of it would go to cover that, but surely, a massive chunk was going to be used to improve the team? No? Silly me. I’d rather be in a Championship team in debt than a solvent League One side. But then again, I’m not the chairman. 

I’ve just read on the official site that the manager is "trying everything he can" to bring new faces in. Not exactly inspiring is it? I desperately hope that Megson can do a ‘Houdini’ here. I hope he can pull something out the bag and perform a miracle. This morning I found myself praying to God that I don’t believe in to make it all alright. I believed Paul Hart when he talked about his 5-year plan, I believed Joe Kinnear and I want to believe that Megson can not only save us, but also take us to a place where we’re not relegation fodder year in, year out. Come on you bleeding reds. 

And that’s all I have to say on the subject.