Premiership football doesn’t much interest me anymore. Who needs the silky skills, the flashing cameras, the capacity crowds and the glamour of international reputation? No, it’s certainly not the life for me; I’m wholly contented with nine months of lumpy pitches, roofless stands and the Great British long ball. One thing that I will be keeping an eye on though, is the annual Sack Race – which of the Premiership managers will be first to succumb to great expectations of Britain’s elite league?

Allow me to distract you, if only for a few minutes, from the thrill of Division Three and cast your eye on this year’s hopefuls, as they stumble perilously into the race that nobody wants to win:

Arsenal
Candidate: Arsene Wenger
The Bookies: 66/1 

Suffice to say, it isn’t all that likely that Mr Wenger will be going anywhere until it suits him – only last season the Highbury chiefs were proposing a ‘lifetime contract’ for the long-serving Frenchman, which would see him move into an executive role when he retires from the bench. It’s been a difficult summer, what with the sale of flagship midfielder Patrick Vieira, but I somehow don’t think that Arsenal will be the first to order a desk clearing.

Aston Villa
Candidate: David O’Leary
The Bookies: 16/1

The Villa Park faithful are certainly a tough crowd and O’Leary is yet to endear himself to the ever-hopeful Villains. Each season brings with it unprecedented (and arguably unwarranted) levels of expectation and having struggled to make use of Doug Ellis’s hyperbolic £20m transfer budget – O’Leary still has doubters to overcome. 

Birmingham City
Candidate: Steve Bruce
The Bookies: 22/1

Following his now famous ‘job swap’ with Trevor Francis at Crystal Palace, Bruce has transformed the historically weaker of the second city’s two major football clubs. Now a well-established Premiership side with an erudite aptitude for claiming the scalp of rivals Villa, Bruce is unlikely to face the chop unless major crisis ensues. 

Blackburn Rovers
Candidate: Mark Hughes
The Bookies: 22/1

Guided an uninspiring squad to safety last season following a difficult few months after the Christmas period. A hero in his playing days at Ewood Park and fast learning his trade in the world of management, Hughes has the backing of the Rovers faithful and shouldn’t be going anywhere fast. The signing of controversial striker Craig Bellamy is something of a coup, especially given the volumes of interest elsewhere.

Bolton Wanderers
Candidate: Sam Allardyce
The Bookies: 33/1

A short time ago the concept of Bolton playing European football would have been cause for great amusement and the result of drinking to excess. Allardyce is an institution at the Reebok Stadium and was deservedly acclaimed for his side’s progress last season – let’s not forget that Bolton were still mathematical contenders for the Champions League with only weeks remaining. It’s going to be difficult to repeat the success of last season, but if heads roll, Big Sam’s probably won’t be one of them.

Charlton Athletic
Candidate: Alan Curbishley
The Bookies: 8/1

Every year Charlton face the same steady climb to the dizzy heights of the top ten, and the same predictable descent to obscurity. Last season’s 11th place finish was respectable, but some ‘experts’ feel that Curbishley’s reign is growing stale. A master at working with limited resources, surely an end of season mutual agreement is far more likely than an untimely sacking for ‘Curbs’? And who knows, this could be Charlton’s year.

Chelsea
‘Candidate’: Jose’ Mourinho
The Bookies: 66/1

With two world class starting elevens at his disposal and a continued transfer budget the size of his ego, Mourinho doesn’t have too much to worry about this season. Chelsea claimed the title by a country mile last time around and will be firm favourites again. Whether or not Mourinho delivers on his promise of even greater things is unlikely to influence his position on the Stamford Bridge touchline, the flamboyant mastermind is football’s hottest managerial property.

Everton
Candidate: David Moyes
The Bookies: 40/1

With a tough deficit to overcome the Champions League may be a step too far for Moyes’ men this season, but the football world will eagerly track Everton’s progress in again fighting for a European place. Moyes has worked wonders at Everton and barring a disaster of gargantuan proportions, his dismissal will remain unthinkable. This time last season Everton were being tipped for relegation, the Blue half of the Merseyside revolution continues.

Fulham
Candidate: Chris Coleman
The Bookies: 11/2

A promising start to his managerial career hasn’t exactly paved the way for consistent excellence; Fulham finished a steady 13th last term but Coleman was criticised for his side’s negative football – so much so that supporters stayed post-match at Craven Cottage to chant “4-4-2”. Fully equipped with an ambitious board, a slow start could prove costly for Coleman – who does retain the advantage of having been a popular player at the club before taking up his current role as ‘gaffer’.

Liverpool
Candidate: Rafael Benitez 
The Bookies: 50/1

The ‘Rafa Revolution’ is in full swing and, with a European cup under his belt, Benitez won’t be budged. Gerard Houllier struggled following initially positive signs, but with Rafa’s own Spanish Armada well-instated I’d tip Liverpool for a very strong season.

Manchester City
Candidate: Stuart Pearce
The Bookies: 10/1

A definite hit with the ‘COMStad’ crowd but faces a tough season, ‘Psycho’ will have to pull out all the stops now the honeymoon period is over. His City side missed out on European football on the last day of the season and have lost talismanic winger Shaun Wright-Phillips to omnipotent Chelsea. The City board were patient with big-spending Keegan; Pearce will be desperate need of similar tolerance as he builds his managerial reputation. One thing’s for sure, we’re right behind him!

Manchester United
Candidate: Sir Alex Ferguson
The Bookies: 20/1

New owners, new challenges – it’s all change at Old Trafford, and if you listen to any United supporters they’ll tell you that most of it isn’t good. Under pressure from kit sponsors Nike, a large source of revenue for the club, trophies are a must. A lack of success could dictate whether or not Fergie retires gracefully, or is sent packing. In any case, he certainly shouldn’t be the first to go.

Middlesbrough
Candidate: Steve McLaren
The Bookies: 20/1

Sven’s right-hand man has built a reasonable squad at the Riverside and will be looking to build on a seventh place finish with another European excursion. They have enough quality to avoid a struggle, and it’s improbable that McLaren will be shown the door.

Newcastle United
Candidate: Graeme Souness
The Bookies: 5/1 – common favourite.

Supporters on Tyneside objected to the Souness appointment from day one, battling against the battalion of egos it’s been a constant struggle for the fiery Scot. A positive start to the season is absolutely imperative or else it’ll be the end of Souness at St James’, last season’s 14th place finish is widely considered to be unacceptable.

Portsmouth
Candidate: Alain Perrin
The Bookies: 11/2

Another manager starting with the handicap of bookmaker-uncertainty, he faces a very tough test if Pompey are finally going to move forward. Having narrowly avoided the drop last season, Perrin has as tough a test as any.

Sunderland
Candidate: Mick McCarthy
The Bookies: 14/1

McCarthy has rebuilt not only Sunderland’s reputation but his own in a difficult stint at the helm; championed by the Mackem support, McCarthy will be entitled to a stave of execution if and when the going gets tough.

Tottenham Hotspur
Candidate: Martin Jol
The Bookies: 20/1

Big-spending Jol has been met with a largely positive response since taking over at White Hart Lane and will be looking to leave his mark on the Premiership in his first full season in charge. Reportedly courted by Ajax last season, Jol can rely on his job security, if not his high-earning stars. Will JJ be joining Reid and Dawson?

West Bromwich Albion
Candidate: Bryan Robson
The Bookies: 14/1

An unpopular choice for the job, Robson has worked well to prove supporters wrong en masse – earning justified praise for hauling his side to safety at the business end of last season. The Baggies face another tough test this time around, and quite how much support Robson now has will prove influential. Come Christmas, Robson may not be quite so secure if another relegation nail-biter is imminent.

West Ham United
Candidate: Alan Pardew
The Bookies: 11/2

A very popular choice when he first quit Reading for the West Ham hotseat, Pardew hasn’t made light work of maintaining his rapport with the unhappy Hammers. Despite strong support from the unpopular board, Pardew’s head has been called for on more than one occasion and a change of manager isn’t out of the question.

Wigan Athletic
Candidate: Paul Jewell 
The Bookies: 20/1

His success-rate at Wigan speaks for itself, and Jewell won’t be removed without some opposition from the supporters. Moreover, his relationship with the Wigan backroom staff will probably be enough to keep him at the club for the duration of their Premiership debut. We’re behind him, he flogged us half of his defence...