lost that loving feeling - Did I miss something?

With the state that Forest are in at the moment, I find watching England a nice bit of light relief. The novelty of supporting a team that have some genuinely superb players and are one of the best in their field is refreshing to say the least. So this Saturday – after a packet of biscuits (of all things) had taken the brunt of my latest Forest frustration – I wandered quite happily down to the pub, bought myself a coke (don’t laugh – that caffeine can give you quite a buzz) and settled down to watch England beat Wales. Feeling rather pleased with myself, home I went to check what the rest of the world thought of this good, solid performance.

Only when I got home, I discovered that the rest of the world didn’t quite agree with me. A message from a friend (you know who you are) arrived saying "So, still think that Sven is the tactical genius who will lead us back to glory?" Then onto the 6-0-6 message board, where I found a number of bile-soaked posts, blaming Sven for everything from the failure of the formation (eh?), to Paul Scholes’ retirement (double eh?).

Sorry, did I miss something? I could have sworn I just saw England completely dominate for 80-odd minutes and win three points. You wouldn’t think it, would you?

I think England fans suffer from some sort of disease that turns them into miserable bastards. Why are they never, ever happy? If we lose – even in friendlies that mean absolutely nothing – then it is a national disaster and Eriksson should be sacked then dipped in an acid bath until he can philander no more. If we draw then he should just be sacked, I suspect mainly for the crime of being born in country of “skiers and hammer-throwers who spend half their lives in darkness” (© Jeff Powell, Daily Mail, 2000). Even if we bloody win then people still moan.

There could be all kinds of historical, psychological or sociological reasons for England being a nation of crippling pessimists, none of which I’m going to go into here, mainly because it’s a waste of time. Instead, I’ll simply say one word: perspective.

I mentioned in my article about Manchester United that the main irritant about their supporters was the fact that they essentially don’t know they’re born. They don’t have anything to whinge about. And guess what: neither do we.

England fans who want Sven to go are either still hung up on the fact that he’s not from dear old Blighty, or have the shortest memories of all time. Since Eriksson has taken over, England have reached two quarter-finals, and lost a total of three competitive matches; to Brazil, France and Portugal (on penalties). He is respected by his players, is calm and has to deal vitriolic criticism for basically everything he ever does.

Of course, he’s far from perfect – he’s overpaid (if we are to believe the papers, and that’s not exactly his fault), he goes too defensive too early, and he looks like Montgomery Burns. However, consider his predecessors: Keegan was a joke, loved by tabloids because he was an up ‘n at ‘em patriot, but with no tactical sense in the slightest. Hoddle was, well, weird, and probably suffered from the fact that he was such a brilliant player and a fairly ordinary coach. El Tel Venables, as we all know, looked more likely to sell you a dicey Rolex than manage a football team, but admittedly seems to hold great respect from other players and coaches. Then there was Graham Taylor... well, you can fill in your own comments there.

Sven Goran Eriksson is the best coach we’ve had in years, and while he has had the best collection of players we’ve had for years, he will be missed when he is eventually hounded out by the Mail, News of the Screws et al. We have only been denied a 100% record in these qualifiers by a terrible mistake by a clown masquerading as a goalkeeper (who, for those of you who say Sven has no Plan B, was dropped immediately afterwards).

Compare this to some of our European counterparts. As I write this Italy have just scraped a draw against Scotland, and were knocked out of the last two tournaments in fairly embarrassing circumstances. Spain have one of the most talented groups of young players I have ever seen, but constantly underachieve. Even France currently are behind Israel in their qualifying group, and are relying on aging stars coming out of retirement to save them.

So all of you who moan about England not thrashing every team in sight 7-0 – get down to the City Ground; then you’ll really have something to moan about!