April Fools! ‘It was all a joke,’ admit Doughty and Hart
01/04/04 | by April Showers and Joe King

Des Walker can't help but cry tears of laughter after realising Paul Hart's cunning scam

Nigel Doughty and Paul Hart have admitted what most of us have suspected all along – that this season was one big prank and that us fans have fallen for it like a bunch of suckers! Speaking exclusively to LTLF, Mr Doughty said: “Yeah, the whole thing was a set-up to trick people into thinking the club is going to the dogs, when really things are as good as they’ve been for a long time.”

With big smug grins on their faces, tricksters Hart and Doughty told of how they staged an intricate series of events to make it appear if Forest were involved in a relegation battle with a terrible side, when really there is no danger at all and the team is a class act.

“We haven’t really sold all the decent players,” Hart admitted. “Scimeca, Brennan, Harewood – all of those players we ‘let go’ are still contracted to the club. Marlon King was happy to go along with the ploy to make it look like we’d wasted a million pounds on him, although he did nearly ruin it by scoring a couple of goals last weekend, but I don’t think anyone noticed.”

“All this stuff with the council, they were all in on it,” chuckled Doughty. “As if they’d kick us out of the City Ground over a few thousand pounds. It’s just silly really, especially when you consider how filthy rich I am. That people thought I was prepared to just let the club go under like that is amazing.”

Among those taken in by the machiavellian scheme was Joe Kinnear, who was shocked to learn that he is not really manager of Nottingham Forest. He fumed: “If they think this is funny then they really need to check their senses of humour. Mind you, I did think it was a bit suspicious they let me loose on a side that was supposed to specialise in passing football.”

Supporters club chairman Mel Hart said: “We all felt very silly when we found out, but fair play to the chairman and manager – it was a cracking gag and we were all made to look like complete gormless prats, ha ha ha!”

With the truth finally revealed, Forest will resume their play-off chase against fellow promotion-hopefuls Sheffied United this Saturday. “All these people who have been turning up week-in, week-out wasting their money on watching rubbish are going to feel rather silly now, aren’t they?” giggled a schoolboy-like Doughty. “We even made it appear as if we lost to Derby thanks to the ball hitting a coffee cup! We didn’t think anyone would believe that one, but they did!”

Now all the hilarity is over, it’s back to the serious business of regaining Premiership status for Forest. “I was very pleased with the lad’s performance,” said Hart, whiping a tear from his eye. “It was a good bit of japery from such a young set of players.”