Good Moaning Sir
12/03/02 | by Alex Walker

The favourite pass-time of most Football managers is moaning: moaning about the result; moaning about the ref; moaning about the players; moaning about the fans...

LTLF now names and shames the five of the worst offenders:

Sir Alex Ferguson (Manchester United)

Favourite moan: “There should have been more extra-time. And no, I’m not just saying that because we were 2-1 down - I timed it on my stop-watch!”
Most recent moan: “The FA’s academy system is rubbish. And no, I’m not just saying that because we aren’t getting any decent players any more!”
Moaning style: Mumbled Scotspeak where the only audible words are ‘disappointed’ and ‘will be taking the matter further’.

Arsene Wenger (Arsenal)

Favourite moan: “I didn’t see the incident myself but I talked to the player afterwards and he said he didn’t make contact and it was outside the box. And no, I’m not just saying that because we were reduced to 10 men and lost on a penalty - the refs just rely on our poor reputation without making decisions properly.”
Most recent moan: “I decided to withdraw my appeal of Theirry Henry’s suspension. And no, I’m not just saying that because it was actually a deserved red card - I just didn’t want to upset the player any more with the stress.”
Moaning style: Stern faced glare into the camera, quietly letting the anger boil up inside ready for an FA appeal court whilst maintaining a cool exterior.

David O’Leary (Leeds)

Favourite moan: “We’re a young side and learning all the time. And no, I’m not just saying that because we lost again!”
Most recent moan: “The days of the play-maker in British football are long gone. And no, I’m not just saying that because we were totally out-classed in the centre when we lost to PSV - I’m saying it because all our players are devoid of skill and are thugs.”
Moaning style: Blaming everyone but himself or his players and conveniently over-looking the poor disciplinary record of the club.

Neil Warnock (Sheffield United)

Favourite moan: “We deserved to win but the ref cheated us out of the points. And no, I’m not just saying that because another defeat has put us even closer to relegation.”
Most recent moan: “It’s the story of our season: we’ve played well but not had any luck. And no, I’m not just saying that to turn attention away from my poor managerial decisions.”
Moaning style: Run through the standard list: Refs, state of the pitch, bad luck, cheating opposition….

John Gregory (Derby County)

Favourite moan: “I don’t have enough money to buy players. And no, I’m not just saying that because I’ve spent too much already on crap players - the chairman is starving me of resources.” (Not that he’ll have that trouble at Derby)
Most recent moan: “We only lost because the ref favours bigger clubs and disallowed our goal against United. And no, I’m not just saying that because I’m bitter and twisted about Aston Villa.”
Moaning style: Conning the public into regarding him as an honest man, while subtly tossing out the blame left, right and centre.