30 things the true Tricky should do before they are 30
06/03/02

You know those features you get in lifestyle magazines? '30 things you should do before you're 30', and that sort of thing. Well lost that loving feeling proudly presents you with '30 things the true Tricky should do before they are 30' so you can see how you're doing.

- Turn up to a game, not realising it has been moved for television coverage.

- Go to the toilet during play and come back not realising someone has scored a goal until you get home and see it on teletext.

- Leave five minutes early and miss an amazing three-goal comeback.

- Travel to Carlisle or Plymouth and come back having seen a nil-nil draw.

- Be reprimanded by the City Ground safety staff for either standing up or abusive language, or both.

- Try to convince the ticket office that you’re under 16 when you’ve just left the pub.

- Enjoy watching the youth team more than the following first team game.

- Get lost in Stoke trying to find Vale Park.

- Visit Notts County and sing Forest songs at the old men.

- Decide it looks a nice day, wear only a t-shirt and get soaked on an open terrace.

- Sit in Pinnacle Place.

- Sit with Derby fans, wearing your Forest shirt underneath your jumper, and laugh at random points at the players.

- Turn up for a match 2 hours early, get in the ground as soon as turnstiles open and enjoy having the place to yourself.

- Try to break into the City Ground after a drunken night out and try to steal some of the turf or a seat.

- Receive food poisoning from the City Ground catering.

- Sit in the Brian Clough stand and enjoy the stares you get when you start balling obscenities down towards the pitch.

- Drive halfway down the country for a game, only to be told that it has been called off.

- Mistake an away fixture for a home one.

- Try to sneak beer onto the Forest coach.

- Shake Ebby by the hand and tell him what a great bloke he is.

- Tell your mates what a complete wanker Ebby is in person.

- Sit in the A Block wearing Stone Island and Hackett, pretending to be ‘one of the lads’.

- Take a piss at the back of a stand with everyone walking past you.

- Try and start a pitch invasion on your own.

- Get so pissed before a game that you pass out and miss all 90 minutes.

- Buy a Forest shirt for your girlfriend when you know they wanted underwear.

- Sit in the Trent End and moan about the atmosphere.

- Call the current Forest team the worst side you’ve ever seen and the last game the worst match you’ve ever seen.

- Stay up all night watching old videos of Forest.

- After far too much beer, decide to get the Tricky Tree tattooed on your chest.