“Alan Shearer is not only a possible choice… but a necessary one.”
Aspley Red, ‘Damned Uniteds’, March 29, 2009

And so, on March 31st, in the two thousandth and ninth year of Wor Lord, there came news of a man begrudgingly shaking hands with his destiny. And whilst I may have strayed into somewhat narcissistic waters here, opening an article by quoting myself, what else can you say? Newcastle United dally ceaselessly with self-parody. They love a challenge. And so, it seems, does Alan, who appears to be the only person in the North East who’s actually thought this whole business through…

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