The Life of Brian’s Statue: Warming the Bench

Brian Clough’s statue in Nottingham muses on his life and what’s happening in the world today…

It was just like being back at a football match again! There I was, surrounded by lots of people, of all different ages, most of them with banners in their hands, protesting about cuts to Public Services. I ended up waving a Socialist Workers Party banner around ’cause some bloody clown stuck it in my hand!

I’ve got nowt against ’em mind, but I don’t believe in forcing opinions on people, unless of course I’m in a TV studio talking about football. That’s different.

Anyway, I’m all for people getting together and letting the powers that be know what they think. I wanted to jump down off me plinth and join ’em.

I remember the Miners’ Strike. In doing a job like that, those fellers had more courage that you and me’ll ever know, and they were squashed like flies by the Government.

It’s important in life to learn that you can’t let people walk all over you, because give ’em an inch and they’ll trample you down while wearing hobnail boots.

Take someone like Trevor Francis. Not the biggest footballer in the history of the game, but clever and tricky. Not many defenders could deal with him, he was so quick. And the good thing about Trevor was he never complained much, he just took the stick from those bully boy defenders and then hit ’em where it hurts most – by sticking the ball in the back of the net.

Y’see the thing is, this Government reckons they know best and, by cutting services, they’ll put people in their place. We’ll see who gets what when they come up for re-election in five years time.

We’ll see who’s warming the bench on the wrong side of the House then!